Part of me really wants to like this "one-off R. Howells handmade metal bass guitar" currently being offered for sale on eBay UK, as someone has gone to a lot of trouble to engineer this piece completely out of metal (which metal, we aren't told).
But another part of me wants to scream, "No no, it's all wrong!" The neck looks exceedingly long, but perhaps that's because the body is small. It may be my imagination, or else the angle of the photograph, but in the full length picture it looks as if the neck is wider up at the nut than it is at the body end. I suspect that it is actually parallel along its length, which would be unusual but not unusable. Of course, playability would all depend on how it intonates. Are the frets positioned correctly for the scale length? They may be, but the cynic in me thinks that this is unlikely.
Look at the engineering of the tuners which are integral to the headstock. I have to wonder if this perhaps was a project by maybe an apprentice metalworker. A certain R. Howells, most likely!
Down at the other end of the bass we find a very solid piece of hardware with adjustable retainers for each string. Quite what purpose these are supposed to serve, I do not know, for they are behind the bridge - which itself does not seem to have saddles of any kind. Maybe the tailpiece blocks are intended as fine tuners, but this does seem a weird inclusion where adjustable saddles would be considerably more useful.
The angled jack on the face of the bass is a nice touch, as are the hand-turned contol knobs, but this bass has not been wired up nor has it been finished having only a dummy pickup mounted in its aluminium pickguard. (And considering the detailed metalwork elsewhere, why does the pickguard look so crudely cut out? Was it finished in a hurry, perhaps?)
This would probably make a better sculpture than a working bass guitar. A lot of hard work has obviously gone into it, so it's only a pity that it resembles a child's drawing of an electric guitar.
Currently listed on eBay with a starting price of £100.
Here at Guitarz we've looked - and laughed - at Vietnamese maker Antoniotsai's guitars before (see here, here and here), and whilst this Dinosaur 5-string bass is quite tame compared to some of their other creations, it's still pretty dreadful. Not only is the dinosaur oil painting rather inexpertly realised (and let's face it, if you've absolutely got to have a Tyrannosaurus Rex on your guitar, then you'd want it as BIG and BOLD as possible, and not merely a head creeping into the bottom left-hand corner of the picture) but also look closely at the woodwork which appears irregular and wonky, as if very crudely cut out by hand.
One very strange feature is the position of the control knobs and output jack, slap bang in the middle of the body behind the bridge. One might argue that this would make the bass more readily adaptable for left-handed players, which I would understand if it didn't have Precision-esque offset body horns.
Currently listed on eBay with a starting bid of $0.99.
Some of us would respond that such scarcity could be considered to be something in its favour.
The strange carved object on this guitar, at closer inspection, reveals itself to be a rattlesnake, but unfortunately from further away it does resemble something that comes out of the rear end of a dog. I'm sorry, the last thing I want to do on this blog is to get all scatalogical and severely lower the tone, but with a guitar like this it is very hard to avoid saying something along those lines.
The carving doesn't work for me, because if that is supposed to be a snake, then what is it meant to be sitting on? A severely sawn-up Telecaster?
Nice try - someone probably put a great deal of effort into this creation - but design-wise it just does not work.
Currently being offered for sale on eBay UK with a Buy It Now price of a staggering £999. (Cough, splutter, choke...)
Thanks (if that is the word I'm looking for) to Alan Newton for bringing this guitar to my attention.
There's no denying that the artwork on this old acoustic guitar (a so-called "Customised Resonator Guitar" even) has been beautifully executed. It is supposedly Art Deco inspired, although I think it is rather too busy to fit in faithfully with that genre. The playing cards around the sides of the guitar are really one step too far and lend it a tacky Las Vegas look rather than one of sophistication which I believe was the desired effect.
What really spoils it is the base from a catering-size tin of baked beans that has been inset where the soundhole once inoffensively appeared. I usually try not to sink to lowest common denominators when describing guitars like this, but in this instance all I can think to say is that it looks crap. Pairing this with a second soundhole insert, quite obviously a strainer intended to sit over the plughole in the kitchen sink, does nothing to help matters. Yes, by all means use these elements on cigar box guitars; they seem to make some sense there and indeed are part of the charm of such instruments. But on an instrument that is trying to look sophisticated, such elements could not be more out of place.
Furthermore, shoving the bottom of a baked bean tin into the top of your guitar will not magically transform it into a resonator. The spun aluminium cone of a resonator guitar is a fine piece of precision engineering. Its function cannot be replicated with the bottom of a bean tin with a few holes punched in it. All that is going to do is to create a few more spurious vibrations and cause the guitar to rattle.
You might consider this a nice example of a piece of folk art and that the Buy It Now price of £270 would be money well spent, but personally I'd give it a miss. If it does actually sound any good, it'll be by accident rather than design. Note that in the YouTube video showing the guitar, the video finishes just before the guitar is about to get played. That alone speaks volumes!
I'm curious as to why this so-called "handmade model guitar" is described as a "model" when it uses bona fide guitar parts, albeit those from a basic cheap Encore Strat copy. My guess is that it doesn't actually play. It may have been intended to be a playable instrument, but perhaps the maker didn't realise about one of a number of things, such as correct bridge placement or how to wire it up properly. Or maybe it was intended just as a prop all along. Those volume and tone conrols could be glued on for all I know.
Currently listed on eBay UK with a starting price of £20, which might be OK if you want a few cheap parts although the shipping cost is a bit on the high side.
I shall quote from the eBay listing for this so-called "stratocaster les paul handmade guitar from a peavey" (please note all spelling and punctuation mistakes, inability to use capital letters, etc, are courtesy of the eBay seller in question):
the ease of a strat without looking a prat,......every strat i have ever had has made me feel like a bit of a prat when i am playing it , like im hank marvin or something ..now what have jimmy page and slash got in common , well appart from being uber cool they play the coolest guitar the les paul.
last week my mum rang me from the charity shop she works at saying that some bloke had broght in a guitar and did i want it , well as im a guitar maker of course i wanted it so my mum bought it for 10 quid and i arranged a courier, when it arrived i was shocked to see a really nice flight case. when i opened it inside it was like a time capsule from the 80's inside was a peavey preditor from the late 80's when they were still hand made in america, a boss ds1 japanese pedal all boxed and as new and a ibanez stereo chorus jap pedal boxed in mint condition as well as a analoge korg tuner 3 good leads and a strap.
the guitar was a bit beat up on the body so i stripped the parts for other projects and then i had a brain wave.....why not try to make a les paul shape out of the strat body so i got out the jigsaw and here we are....as i said the body was a bit gnarly so i decided to try a glitter finish to buff out the knocks so i put on 3 layers of silver glitter and 5 layers of varnish sanding between each to get a really good finish, did my custom headstock with 5 tuning pegs on 1 side and 1 on the other that goes on all my guitars and did a glitter finish and my trademark lightning bolt in red glitter, cut and shaped the scratchplate and voilla , oh the knobs are just some that i stuck on but when you get it it will have standard strat knobs in black that are winging their way here as i type. the action is set low and the intonation is good and it looks a million bucks as im sure you will agree. the glitter finish is just on the front and sides , the back is sprayed silver and a bit gnarly. also i sort of rushed this so the shape it isnt as perfect as i would like (the back is smaller than the front bevause i angled it by 2mm to scallop it to fit the body better) but still pretty wicked . it sounds great through my session amp but i have not really played this because i am a leftie and normally i make one off guitars to order but i think this could be a good seller and as there are zillions of strat shaped guitars going cheap so i might make a few more of these so i cant say its a one off. so if you are looking for something a bit different that will turn heads, play and sound great and is cheap then this guitar could be for you.
Hopefully Guitarz readers can see this for the atrocity it truly is.
Thanks to Jason Summer who spotted this eBay listing.
A lot has been written about the high quality of Japanese guitars and the immaculate attention to detail on copies of famous brands such as Fender and Gibson. We are often told that those giants of the American guitar were so worried about such copy guitars emanating from Japan that they legitimised them, introducing the Fender Japan and Orville by Gibson brands.
However the guitar pictured here, a half-arsed attempt at a copy of a Fender Mustang with Competition stripe, serves to remind us that the Japanese didn't always get it right and that they produced a fair number of horrors, guitar-wise.
OK, if you squint, or perhaps view the guitar at a great distance, you might be fooled into thinking this was the real deal. All the elements are there but it looks as if somehow in assembly it all went horribly wrong. It looks like a Mustang built by someone from memory alone, with no access to blueprints or plans or even a genuine Mustang (or a photo of the same) for reference.
Bill Cesavice kindly flagged this guitar up for me on our Facebook page. Oh dear... where to start with this one?
OK... It's been given a paintjob that I guess might have been inspired by Clapton's CRASH Stratocasters. However, it strikes me as odd to go to all that trouble and then have such a crudely cut-out pickguard which looks as if it's been shaped using a kitchen knife. As for the Gibson stickers on the headstock (I guess because the original logo was painted over), well, the less said the better.
And WHY the three pickups laid out in a Strat formation? That is something that seriously bugs me, the way people think that if you have three pickups you MUST angle the bridge one. Why follow the Strat template? Just what is the logic? Yeah, I know these are singlecoil-sized humbuckers, but still...
So... Gibson or not? Well, it's a set-neck and the shape appears to be accurate so it's perfectly possible that there is a real Gibson beneath the paint, stickers and "customization". But we only have the seller's word on that.
With a Buy It Now price of $900 on eBay, I'd approach this one with caution.
SOLID MAHOGANY BODY CARVED BY FENDER CUSTOM SHOP MASTER BUILDER GEORGE AMICAY (www.amicaycustomdesign.com). A relief of Themis, Greek God of Justice is meticulously and perfectly hand-carved into the solid mahogany body with gold leaf caligraphy. The guitar was created in the 1990s to be used as a prototype for a guitar to be given as a gift to Fender General Counsel. The original work of art has been retained by the artist until now. The 2001 Fender American Vintage neck was made by FENDER CUSTOM SHOP MASTER BUILDER JASON DAVIS (also BC Rich and Jackson) using premium grade birds eye maple with Indian rosewood fretboard, an elegant match to this original prize piece for the serious collector. Expertly appointed by the artist himself in anodized gold hardware and new Fender Custom Shop pickups, electrical wiring, pots, switch and jack.
Prototype? Are you seriously telling me that it was Fender's intention to produce more than one of these? Surely not? I mean, who's it supposed to appeal to, a high court judge? Maybe the judge in this video, perhaps?
I think I said it all in the title. More or less. I'd give this DIY doubleneck guitar and bass customization top marks for resourcefulness and inventiveness but zero marks for elegance and design. And I can't imagine that bass neck is going to sound too great with an ultra-shortscale length which is less than the Squier Strat neck that its been grafted next to.
Thanks to Greg Cadman for alerting me to this monstrosity via our Facebook page.
Ahhhh... now this one brings back some memories. It's a shortscale Shaftesbury bass, roughly modelled on the original slab-bodied Fender Precision/Fender Telecaster bass, and I guess it's from the mid 1970s.
I remember back in the early 1980s when I was first getting into starting bands with my mates and doing a spot of home recording on the then-new Fostex X15 multitrack cassette recorder; one day a couple of my friends came round wanting to record a demo. They brought a couple of cheap guitars with them. I don't remember what the six string was, but the bass was one of these. It was bad. I remember thinking it how dreadful it was. It was boomy, as you'd expect from a short-scale bass but I've played many that were streets ahead of this. I don't think the flat wound strings helped (I've never liked them and never will). I can't explain exactly what was wrong with it, just that it felt bad and it played bad. It was a cheap and nasty bass and performed accordingly.
This one on eBay UK has a starting price of £199. That is what I'd call seriously optimistic. Don't be fooled by the fact that this was "Made in Italy". It's not one of their finer moments.
My goodness, take a look at this... Flycaster... Telling V? Call it what you will, just because something is possible, doesn't mean that it should happen. As Guitarz reader Al in Crosby TX USA points out, even the eBay seller describes it as an abomination.
This Telecaster/Flying V hybrid comes from Indy Custom (The Indiana Guitar Company - not to be confused with Indie Guitars) and is one of a limited edition of 100 - even that sounds like pure optimism to me!
Guitarz reader and regular commenter, Matt D-6, found this scary piece of luthiery on his local Craig's List. I think the seller is barely literate. (Dear oh dear, when did people routinely stop using capital letters and punctuation?) He also seems to be under the impression that this is a high quality guitar and is easily worth at least $200. Errrrrmmmm... Hello? The body is a bodge job. It looks like a Strat built by someone who'd never seen one before, and with only a child's drawing for reference.
We all know the Flying V. A few days ago we looked at a rather vulgar Jackson doubleneck that I dubbed the Flying W. Takamine had the Flying A (actually an acoustic take on the V design - they weren't allowed to call it a V, and viewed from the other direction it could be considered an A). Rick Nielsen, I believe, has a Flying Z, and The Tubes had a Flying Q (albeit a stage prop)...
And here we have this Maestro S-shaped guitar. Suitable for people with names like Sid, Shirley, Simon, Sylvester, Sarah, Sally, etc... Oh - there's a S at the headstock too (with machine heads seemingly positioned at random), so perhaps it's more suitable for people with the initials SS... which has sinister overtones.
Or maybe it's more suited to an episode of Sesame Street.
This Jackson USA Custom Shop King V doubleneck is an exercise in excess with its over-sized quilted maple topped body, dual through-necks, reverse pointy headstocks, gold hardware, mother of pearl sharkfin inlays, etc. I have to confess that I'm not a fan. I never did like the Jackson pointy headstock design - it just looks totally incongruous on just about any body design, and quilted maple I'm sure is supposed to imply opulence but to me it just seems like an unimaginative short-cut to tarting up a guitar's appearance. Many would be impressed, but I have to stifle a yawn.
Flying V? Flying W more like!
Currently being offered for sale on eBay with a Buy It Now price of $9,999.99.
Here's another one from eBay sellers houstonbrass, purveyors of cheap and nasty crap. The listing's title proclaims Electric Guitar, Unique shape... yeah, unique perhaps because it's very very silly.
Another one for your comedy HM band.
G L Wilson
Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!
Despite the name stamped into it, I don't believe that's a real Floyd Rose for one minute. But the one touch that I think is the funniest (aside from the deplorable "artwork") is the location of the strap button on the lower horn as if it's been put there for a left-handed player. The whole thing looks so slapdash, I expect someone probably got confused because of the inverted 6-in-a-line headstock.
Surely this is a guitar ONLY for those in spoof metal bands in the Spinal Tap, Bad News mold. Even then I doubt it's a serious playable instrument.
G L Wilson
Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!
Despite the glowing write-ups in certain eBay listings that I've seen, Hondo guitars have a dreadful reputation, and I've heard many an ex-owner complain that they were cheap and nasty - and often unplayable - copies. Judging by this Hondo copy of an Ibanez Iceman, they weren't very accurate copies either. Look at the shape of that thing - that curvy lower is slightly reminiscent of a Musicvox Spaceranger. I'm also aware of the irony of an Ibanez Iceman copy, when before the Iceman, Ibanez were copyists themselves.
So, any Hondo owners or ex-owners out there? Were they really all that bad?
G L Wilson
Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!
I'm not sure what the "thing" on the upper horn is supposed to be? A lizard? A dog skull? I think the other "thing" on the lower horn is supposed to be a ghoul of sorts and there's a ghost on the headstock. How spooky!
The wooden-topped pickups are wonkily screwed on, and - call me cynical if you will - to me this would be a hint that the workmanship might be a bit suspect.
I'm actually surprised that this has a starting price of $385 - that seems a bit steep for such a nameless guitar. Note also that the listing title is "Electric Guitar, Unique sculpture: Skull" - that also triggers warning alarms in my head. By calling it a "sculpture" could that suggest that this creation isn't actually playable? Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm just saying "Beware".
Personally I'd give it a wide berth.
G L Wilson
Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!
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